A Gedo Christmas Party
by Grand Master Shoma
Summary: It appears to be a normal Christmas party at Gedo High. (It's not really Christmasy)


A Gedo Christmas Party: A Rival Schools Christmas Story

By "Grand Master Shoma"

By "Judge Neusy" (a.k.a. my co-author who shares half this story)

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, but I own this story.  Don't steal it.

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This story was taken place during Christmas time, between the Rival Schools story and the Project Justice story, so Edge didn't quite tell Akira about how he feels towards her... at least, not until our story came along (refer to "Keeping Your Eyes On the Prize").

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**Auditorium: 8:50 P.M.**

Edge: (in a well-dressed tux) Where are they?

Gan: (also wearing a well-dressed tux) Yeah, this place is boring. Hey Edge, how come you're looking into space again?

Edge: (zonked out) Oh, sorry Gan. I was just rethinking about...

Gan: About?

Edge: ...about how tight Akira's ass was when she was pretending to be a guy. Remember?

Gan: Oh... yeah!

[dissipate into flashback]

(shows the lunchroom of Gedo High)

Gan: Hey Akira! Where are you going?

Akira: (acting tough in her motorbike disguise) Nothing you pussies would care for. (walks out while unintentionally shaking her ass like a woman)

Gan: Hey Edge, haven't you noticed that Akira's posterior is kind of, tight for a man?

Edge: (looking) Yeah, you're right. (realizes that he was looking at the curvy ass of a man) Oh god! What am I thinking!? I'm not ready to turn that cheek yet.

Gan: Heh heh heh. Cheek. Good pun!

[end flashback]

Gan: Heh heh heh. Cheek. Good pun!

Edge: (slapping face) Oh god!

Gan: Where's the boss?

Edge: You have been saying that for an hour. That gets old.

Gan: Something that's totally out of topic, remember when we were blazing through the streets on Akira's motorcycle to reach Justice High and save the boss?

Edge: Yeah.

Gan: And when Akira thrusted it onto a speed almost resembling Mach 1, that was when you grabbed her chest madly.

Edge: What's so wrong about that?

Gan: Think.

Edge: Hmm... (realization occurs) OH GOD!!

Gan: (smiling) Here comes the boss!

Daigo: (also wearing a tux of similar taste) What is to be happening, my homey-g's?

Gan: Boss! Boss!! Edge grabbed Akira's mountains, and he **enjoyed** it! (you know what we mean)

Daigo: (a bit confused) What the hell are you talking about?

Edge: (covering Gan's mouth, trying to shut him up) Hahahaha! Gan's obviously speaking in, uh, tongues! (ignoring Gan) So, what took you?

Daigo: It was because (looking back) someone had to take her time!

Edge: (overly ecstatic) AKIRA!!!

Akira: (wearing nice, green dress; yelling at Daigo) Well, I'm sorry! I was just, oh, I don't know, invited to this party! And did you want me to go as a bum!?

Gan: Well, I can't picture you in a dress Akira. Maybe in a tight, skin-gripping bra, but not a dress.

Edge: Gan! Shut your mouth! 

Gan: Well, I was just glad to see my buddy again! (goes up and bear hugs Akira) How are you?

Daigo: My god! My sister's getting crushed by a massive behemoth, better known as Gan!

Gan: Oops! I'm so sorry, Akira!

Akira: (catching her breath) It's alright, Gan.

Gan: Ooh Ooh Ooh!! Since you're here, let's check out the buffet table!

Edge: Greedy baka! They didn't even start the party yet!

Gan: (grabbing Akira's arm) I'm getting a preview!

Akira: Gan, maybe we should w,w,w, WAIT!! (gets dragged off by Gan)

Daigo: Hmm... What did Gan mean by 'you grabbing her mountains'?

Edge: Um, uh, look! Gan is stuffing bread down her throat!

Daigo: EEww! This reminds me of a badly-done porno film. (grabs megaphone out of nowhere) STOP IT, GAN!!

Gan: FINE! Just let me grab some rice balls!!

Akira: Eww... I hate this kind of food. There's grease in all these foods! Especially the rice balls!!

Gan: (has armful of rice balls) What!? (hear geeky yokel music) Goody!! Let's go hoedown!!

Akira: Gan, no! I don't want to, and I don't know how!

Gan: (in a sexy and suave tone) Just follow me.

Akira: No!!! (she unknowingly gives in)

Daigo: (shakes head in disgust) What a @#$%in' disgrace to humanity.

Edge: I dunno... Gan's doing pretty well.

Daigo: (looks at Edge) Who's talking about Gan? Look at her! She fumbles whenever she gets the chance to--

Akira: (falls) Ow!

Daigo: --She fumbles within her fumbles--

Akira: (trips as she gets up) Crud!!

Daigo: --She does a 2-HIT fumble combo finish!

Akira: (falls in a perfectly-look able view of her) Christ! Everyone can see my panties!!

Gan: You okay, Akira?

Edge: (speaking to self) Oh, yes... you're okay. (brings right nipple up to view, which shows that Edge has a spy camera in his pocket; the only way he can trigger a picture is to tweak his nipple) Yes. Great. Beautiful.

Daigo: (looking strangely at Edge) What's wrong with you?

Edge: Oh, um, itchy tit?

Daigo: Oh yeah! Don't you hate it when that happens to you during a special event!?

Edge: Yeah. (continues tweaking nipple)

Daigo: So Akira, you didn't do that bad.

Akira: Right, whatever... I'm gonna go to the washroom. (looks around) Where's the girls washroom?

Edge: Remember, Akira.

Akira: You guys! I can't go into a guys washroom! I'm not a guy!!

Gan: You were before! 

Edge: (gives off stupid little laugh)

Akira: I guess I'm gonna go then... (leaves)

Edge: (admires her sweet ass) I'm goin' to the washroom!! (chases after her)

Daigo: Well, I still don't get that comment... GAN!! What are you doing!?

Gan: (bringing buffet table closer to their table) What?

[scene change to washroom]

Edge: Akira... Akira!!! Where are you!?

[scene back to table]

Akira: GAN!! What are you doing!?

Gan: What?

Daigo: Whoa... Déjà vu!

Akira: Put the table back!  

Gan: Oh, okay... (rolls the table back, then resumes taking some more food)

Attendant: Sir! SIR! Please don't take the table again, SIR!

Akira: Gan! Take small portions from each tray.

Gan: Okay! (puts table back, then starts taking small portions from each section on the buffet table) Dum de dum dum...

Akira: No... Gan, your missing my point exactly!

Daigo: I wonder where's Edge? Akira, didn't he come out with you?

Akira: He came in with me??

Edge: (screaming out of the bathroom) AAAAHHH!!!!! Oh God!! I accidentally gave an old man a lap dance!!

Gan: Eww...

Daigo: How is that even possible? I mean, the physics behind it is so messed up. 

[some time passes]

Edge: (thinking to self) "Okay... Edge, tonight's the night you have to tell Akira. Okay, just act calm... act cool... walk up to her..." (stands right next to Akira, but doesn't seem to notice him) "Yeah, start the conversation with eating some popcorn." (guess what he does) "Yeah. Now, don't choke... don't choke... don't choke!" (grabs throat; Akira finally notices) "Oh man! I knew I was gonna choke!"

Akira: (worried) Edge, are you choking!?

Edge: (motions that he's alright, but still making some awful gagging sounds)

Akira: (coming over) Don't worry, Edge! (does Heimlich on Edge)

[unknown to anyone was the fact that the food Edge upchucked flew into Gan's food, and he unknowingly eats it.]

Akira: Feel better?

Edge: Yeah, *pant* *pant* I just need a drink of water. (snags glass of water, drinks like a spaz and continues) So, how are you?

Akira: Are, you okay, Edge?

Edge: Why do you ask?

Akira: Well... (eyeing the spot where the glass that Edge drank out of should've been)

Edge: Oh. No wonder I'm getting sharp glass pains in my stomach... (starts feeling dizzy) Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep on the fluffy pink clouddds... don't leeeeet me swallow my throat... (faints)

Daigo: (walks up, looks in disgust) Oh god.

[scene change to operating room in a hospital; Akira, Gan, and Daigo are watching Edge on those special seats]

Edge: (on the moving table) Am I going to die?

Doctor: Most likely.

Edge: (expression changes to a weak surprise)

Daigo: *sigh* Once again, Edge goes under the knife.

Akira: (confused) What are you talking about?

Daigo: You see Akira, once, in Biology, we had to dissect frogs and (yells like a madman at Gan) GAN!! What are you doing!?

Gan: (eating a hotdog) What? I get hungry watching these operations!

Daigo: (covers face in hand in disgust) I'm surrounded by idiots. Not you Akira. It's just that--(looks down to see a surprise) WHAT'S GAN DOING DOWN THERE!? HOW DID HE GET DOWN THERE!?

Doctor: (showing Gan) This young man has eaten over 100 lbs. of grease! (gets a giant hose) Liposuction is the only way we can get this excess fat! Start it, Scotty!

Daigo: Liposuction... Akira, don't look! (covers eye)

Akira: Why? (hears fat-sucking noises) OH GOD!! (covers her eyes)

[scene change to outside the operating room]

**Hospital: 9:45 P.M.**

Daigo: How'd it go, Edge?

Edge: The doctor said that I can go home right away without having to stay! On another point, the doctor said that I was making funny noises while he was removing the glass shards from my body and testicles!

Daigo: (cocking eyebrow) I... see...

Gan: Hey guys!

Akira: (appalled at Gan's new look thanks to liposuction) Wow, Gan! You look great!

Gan: (blushes slightly) Heh heh, thanks!

Edge: Now the guys can call you 'stupid' instead of 'stupid fat ass'! Otherwise, you look like a normal, everyday jock.

Gan: I'll... take that as a compliment.

Edge: (pulls out a bag of potato chips) Chip?

Gan: Don't mind if I do! (devours chip; body gains enough pounds to make Gan look like his normal self)

Akira: Oh, Gan.

Edge: oops! Those must have been the chips that had 100 g of fat per chip.

Gan: (peeved) Well, that's great!

Edge: Oh no! I remember that at 10:00 P.M., that's when they start group photos! Come on guys! You could come too, stupid fat ass!

Gan: Hey!

[scene change back to auditorium]

**Auditorium: 10:03 P.M.**

[Our gang here could only manage one group photo. It was only showing Edge, Gan, and Akira, because they had supposedly plowed down Daigo.]

Akira: Not bad!

Gan: I look slim!

Edge: I don't know, Gan. The camera adds 10lbs.

Daigo: Will you guys shut up!? I'm trying to score here! (goes back to unknown woman) So, uh, (at this point, he's blushing like mad) do you want to, uh... 

Mysterious Woman: (giggles) Of course.

Daigo: (surprised and bewildered) Did you even know what I was going to say?

MW: That you wanted to dance?

Daigo: Yeah.

MW: Shall we be off?

Daigo: Uh, let's!

Edge: Hey boss! Doin' some big pimpin'?

Daigo: Shut up!

Edge: Yeah! Knock her up and out! (slaps his ass)

Daigo: (slaps Edge hardly) Shut your mouth, fool.

Edge: Ooh... pretty stars...

Gan: I'll start at the-- (discovers) Where's my beloved (starts getting sad) buffet table? (starts pouting)

Akira: Don't worry Gan! It's alright! You know you make me feel upset when you start to cry like that!

Gan: (stops crying, all happy) You know what? You're right! And look (points outside) There's a hot-dog cart all for myself! Hey! Wait for me! (starts chasing after it!)

[Hot-dog cart in the winter!? That's new.]

**Outside Auditorium: Midnight**

Edge: (sulking on the staircase; snow on his bum) Well Edge, you just blew your chance to tell Akira about how you feel about her. (starts walking) Oh well, there is a next time...

Gan: (running up to him pulling a cart) Hey Edge! Did you manage to tell Akira?

Edge: (shakes head in disappointment) I couldn't tell her.

Gan: (starts walking behind him) Too bad.

Edge: But look on the bright side, at least I might tell her again some other time!

Gan: (starts eating a hot-dog) Good for you, Edge!

Edge: (eyeing Gan) So, Gan. Where did you get that hot-dog cart?

Gan: Well, would you believe that I had to run for an hour in the cold to make that guy give up his hot-dog cart?

Edge: (smiles) Hmph. Greedy baka!

Daigo: Hey guys. Edge, what's wrong with you? You look like you missed--(silence)--The greatest opportunity in your known world.

Gan: Speaking of opportunities boss, Edge almost asked A--

Edge: (muffles Gan's mouth with hand) HEHEHE! This baka's still speaking in tongue, boss--OW! You bit my palm, you woman!

Daigo: Wait a minute. (thinking outloud) 'Grabbing her mountains'... (starts cracking fists) You get your ass back here, Edge!

Edge: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

[end with Edge being chased by Daigo and Gan coming close behind. The real question is...]

Akira: Daigo! DAIGO!! Where are you?

THE END 

*If you liked this, don't forget to check out our other Sonic stories, including "A Sonic Christmas", which will soon be up if not already!*


End file.
